Broken moments

Today I feel like I am being dragged through the valley of the shadow... backwards, by a large truck. I feel like I am living James 1, as though I was being cautioned about what was coming, and guided as to how I should respond and what to believe. Basically, it's as if James wrote me a letter that said:

"Dear Kimberly, things are about to get rough. Prepare yourself now; know that God has a greater purpose, a perfect work He is working to complete in you. The author of lies will speak many words of defeat and discouragement into your heart and mind; he will frustrate, confuse and anger you, if you let him. These feelings do not come from God, Whose every gift to you is good and perfection. Where there is darkness and doubt, He comes, your Father of light, to dispel it all. Satan knows God's power is greater; He believes and TREMBLES at God's might. Trust him. Persevere. Be still before Him. Wait for Him to guide; do not act hastily."

My first thought, when my little world seemed to be crumbling all around me the other day, was 'why is God allowing this'? And then I did the only thing I could... I prayed. I prayed, cried, and called out to Him for salvation. My cries were desperate and pleading, and my heart broke with each word. And He heard. He is listening. He could erase everything like it never happened, but He won't, and I believe it's because He has a purpose. He did bring His comfort and direction from a very unlikely source--an unsaved acquaintance who, unbeknownst to me, had experienced what I am presently going through--and as I cried my broken heart onto her shoulder, I cried in relief at this "God moment" that He had given me. He is here. He is near.

It's a shame that sometimes we have to be completely broken, brought down to the very bottom of ourselves, before we turn to Him in desperation. But in those very broken moments, His glory radiates through us like a hot cup of tea; sits on us like a warm blanket. And we are once again reminded that He will "keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee" (Isaiah 26:3).

So, I'm crying, and I'm sure I will cry a lot for a while, but I will also sing, and rejoice, and praise the One who is bigger than anything this life throws at me, and in doing so, I will have peace, and I will persevere, and I will outlast the author of darkness and lies by the mighty presence of my Healer.