Finding New Purpose

So last week was a little stressful, as I had to register Sammy for Kindergarten in the Fall, and I have found myself dreading the moment I leave him at school for the first time... and every time after that. He is my shadow, my cohort, my company throughout the day, and the thought of running errands by myself, or not hearing his voice on the other end of the phone throughout the day as he calls me on the intercom to tell me he loves me, is just killing me.

I have found myself wondering what I will do with my time which, if you saw the state of my house at present, would make you laugh; there's PLENTY to be done around here. But I am craving something that will give me a purpose bigger than me, that will take me outside of myself and meet a need for someone else. My online Bible study group and I have been making baby blankets for Mercy House in Kenya, which we learned about through our Good Morning Girls leaders Courtney and Angela (I'll have to post pictures of some of mine!), so I know I will continue to support that cause. But I still wanted something else.

So I got talking to a girlfriend of mine who is a self-taught photographer, and takes some of the most beautiful pictures! She has had a real burden for people suffering from cancer, and just completed a photo shoot for a woman who has breast cancer, a new baby, and was about to have a double mastectomy. I have a great fear of cancer, and it makes me so sad to hear stories like this one, or to see loved ones die from it. In the last year, I have lost an extended family member, a friend's father, and a dog to this horrible disease, and I have watched my sister-in-law, at a young age, have a double mastectomy also. Cancer is nasty.

And so, as my friend and I got talking about all of this, we have decided that, come the Fall when we both have most/all of our children in school, we will take a couple of mornings/days in the month where we go to hospitals and visit with cancer patients; she will take a beautiful portrait of them, and I will take some cute 'chemo caps' or handmade toys of some sort for them to have.

A picture to remind them they are beautiful, and (hopefully) a little something to cheer them up!

I got started this weekend. Here are 4 of the hats I've made so far! (I have to make some boy caps, too!)






I am very excited to start this new venture! I would be lying if I said I wasn't a wee bit nervous, too. But God is good, and I pray that He would be in this with me, and that I would not run ahead with my own plans without making sure they are also His.

Smoochie Poops

So today I registered my little Sammy for Kindergarten in the Fall. I can't even believe it! Makes me want to cry even now; I can't imagine that first day of school.

















He, of course, would have gone to school today. He kept asking me if he was "all signed up". He is SO ready to go, but I think he figures it will be like his Cubbies class at Awana, or Sunday School, where he listens to a story, maybe sings a song or two, does a craft, has a snack and then plays the rest of the time. I'm trying to get him used to the thought of sitting at a desk and doing desk work more than playing, but it's a big concept for such a little guy. My little Smoochie Poops.

I am not concerned with him being afraid; quite the opposite. My concern is whether or not the teacher will be able to keep him in his seat! He's a 'go-er'. He's up every morning usually by 7:00, and goes all day until he goes to bed at 8 p.m. Try as I might, I have not been able to find an off button. He loves to play, and he LOVES when the kids come home from school and they all play together... for the most part.

So the next few months, I will do some prep work with him--continue working on his letters and counting, writing his name--and will attempt to prepare myself for the quiet hours without him. I can't even imagine running errands by myself! In spite of my greatest efforts, I guess he can't be 4 forever... but how nice would that be!

It's been a while

Wow, I can't believe how long it's been since I wrote! Things are considerably better since the last entry, thank the Lord! Being broken is not fun, but seeing God start the work of healing and restoration is a good thing, and I am slowly learning to rest in His peace, and trust Him for my tomorrows.

Which brings me to my James study. Ugh. This has been TOUGH. I've heard friends say in the past that they were never able to complete a study in James, and now I know why. James doesn't mess around, he gets right to the heart of the matter, literally. For example, today I read James 4:17--"Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin." Ouch. Was it the Apostle Paul who talked about warring with the flesh, knowing the right thing to do and yet not doing it, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak? So this struggle to do what is right is not a new concept to me, but to acknowledge a wrong choice as sin is definitely sobering.

The funny thing is, I say it to my kids all the time. ALL THE TIME. Mirror needed at table one. Yikes! I'm always trying to impress upon them that knowing what is right and doing what is wrong is a choice, and it's sin, and that all sin is against holy God. HELLO. I am in need of a new perspective, or a broader vision, apparently. Thank you, James.

I've also been challenged that my faith must be visible to anyone who looks at me/my life; that while my salvation is not dependent on works, works will produce fruit, which is my calling as a Christian. And I can't forget about humility, acknowledging that the God Who knows how many hairs are on my head also knows how many days comprise my life, and that any success or gain apart from Him means nothing in light of eternity. If I am to boast, I am to boast only in what He has done in, through, and for me.

Even when I'm broken.

"Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Corinthians 12:10).

God is good, all the time. He brought a group of 9 women together from Canada, the UK, and the US, to work through this study online, encouraging each other and keeping each other accountable through daily emails. I am so grateful for my Good Morning Girls! Looking forward to the next study, and hoping--if the Lord wills--to someday meet you all in person!